When I woke up this morning, I realised that I was a year older. Actually, i forgot it was my birthday and Neyir had to remind me.
It has been a crazy year (well… year and a half).
Things to note include
- had a baby! Woo Hoo
- visiting france twice (paris and normandy)
- trip to italy
- some how cheesed off a brother
- managed change in the School of Maths
- presented at two conferences
- finished Moby Dick
- went windsurfing on Loch Tay in October
and many more wonderful things.
It is exiting to think about what the next year will hold. We’ll keep you informed so check out this space.
Well I am scared to actually write this down but as we begin week three (ok are half-way through) I think I may be starting to see the forest ie. I am not missing the forest for the trees - we may be starting to figure this wee boy out :-). I wouldn’t say we have a ‘routine’ but we are beginning to have a good idea of what works and what very clearly does not. Feeding is going ok, I am still experiencing some pain that seems to belay any traditional mid-wife wisdom as Max is attached well etc. At least at this stage I am not stringing together sentences comprised purely of expletives 8 times a day and being force fed paracetamol by my husband. I have recovered well from surgery though in the process seem to have become what the Dr calls ‘extremely anaemic’ and have also been on antibiotics for a skin infection, I also still have swelling at my incision which I am going to ask the nurse about today.
After a lot of pain and stress, 3 trips and a spend equal to that of our monthly grocery bill we finally acquired ‘acceptable’ photos of Maxwell for his passport and citizenship documents and sent everything down to London yesterday. All things being equal he should have a temporary passport by the middle of October to enable us to fly home for Joel and Sophie’s wedding. I cannot say strongly enough that if you don’t have to then DO NOT attempt to obtain regulation passport photos of a newborn under 2 weeks old! ;-).
Maxwell is spending a bit more time everyday awake and being super cute, which is different than last week’s awake because ‘I refuse to sleep unless someone is holding me, scream everytime someone puts me down and therefore am awake most of the time but exhausted’ game. We may have solved this problem but I am wary of getting ahead of myself so will merely say we have some ’succesful tactics’. The health visitor came last Thursday and Max is nearly back up to his birth weight - he will be weighed and measured again tomorrow. He is continuing to fit into his newborn clothes at least in terms of width (many of them are still too large) but I suspect will soon outgrow some things in terms of length - I don’t think I am off-side in thinking he will have David’s height.
We haven’t been very good about taking photos mainly due to the aforementioned inability to put Maxwell down but are hoping to rectify that soon. Hope you are all well :-).
Firstly please let my thank all of you for you amazing comments, phone calls, short visits and overall support - David and I have been overwhelmed by our sense of community both here in Scotland and at home. Secondly let me clear up a mystery as to our location - Maxwell and I are home. We were released yesterday afternoon and escorted home by two members of the illustrious Stubbs’ family. This idea had been arranged weeks earlier yet it was with the truest spirit of flexibilty that Clare no doubt re-arranged her afternoon(no small feat for a working mom of 4) to come to the hospital and conduct us safely home. Jessie as official representative of the Stubbini (as I like to call the Stubbs kids) was an absolute angel carrying baby’s clothes AND presenting Max with his first action figures - a very cool medieval? knight and no doubt as an instinctive hommage to all North American Men of David’s generation GI Joe! Pete we were sorry not to see you (darn job! ) but I have a sneaking suspicion we might find one or two times to use your invaluable chauffering skills yet!
I really did mean to put up a quick post when I got home yesterday but while Maxwell feeds amazingly well and is very good natured the one thing he struggled with both our last night in hospital and last night is sleeping anywhere but in someone’s arms. The result is that my main short term goals other than the obvious have been to sleep whenever I can and today to get to the registery office to get the citizenship ball rolling in aid of the three of us making it back to Canada for the middle of October. I have just awoken from the best powernap of all time to discover that A. It is beautiful outside B. My mother has managed in a 2 bedroom flat the stellar feat of getting the newborn to not only be quiet but also sleep for most of the past 1.5 hours and C. I have official ‘free time’ having accomplished both of the aforementioned goals.
I will sit down in the next week to write a very ‘family-friendly’ and brief account of Max’s arrival but for the time being let me be clear in saying that while I began the induction process Thursday night did not go into established labour until the small hours of Saturday morning - The reports of my labour have been greatly exaggerated - with Maxwell’s official DOB being just after midnight on Sunday morning.
I also wanted to record a few of my thoughts regarding David’s conspicuous absense and how I feel about being deserted for the exotic resort of Capri! I am not directed these ramblings at anyone in particular but merely passing along my viewpoint as I have been getting the general feeling that I am being somehow pitied or judged (with great love I know) by some of the wonderful folks in our lives and I thought this might be a good chance to put everyone’s mind at rest. Firstly David categorically did not want go to this conference and while we began the necessary planning for him to go back in the spring, was always very, very resistant to the idea of committing to be away at this of all tims. Secondly I definitely wanted David to go, not because I harboured any romanticised ideas of the reality of the first few days of motherhood or because I wanted to be a Martyr but because it seemed quite clearly to be what was meant to happen. This confidence of mine stems from a few things not the least of which
are the conditions surrounding my labour and the fact that it just seemed a little too coincidental that before we even arrived in Edinburgh my parents were scheduled to be in Manchester for August 2007 making them the perfect candidates to support me and baby U in the early days.
Mainly though, my decision at least, was taken based on the responsibilities I think David holds to me and our family which are somewhat the following: we in the modern western work are lucky in so very many ways when it comes to financial and family security. We (for the most part) do not think it is a luxury to have maternity leave and pay or to have partners who are both present and involved in the birth process and who are then invaluable support to mom and baby in the early days - no we expect. And while I think this is definitely the ideal situation and will look forward to the same phenomenal support I had from David for this pregancy and the help he will give me after the next I find it to be neither biblical nor the norm for most of the world. David and I both suscribe to the bibilical ideas that he is the head of the family and that I am to serve him insomuch as he honours me but I do not feel this means he should be with me right now regardless of how much I want him to be. Rather as the head of the family he is responsible for not only my physical and emotional well being but also our financial stability. I have no regrets in telling you that I feel David made the harder decision to go to Capri, he did so knowing he would miss the early days of his son’s life, face criticism from loved ones, and leave me alone at a time when every instinct in his body was telling him to stay. But I also feel he went very much in God’s will to fulfill his role both to me and his new responsibility to Maxwell to maximise the possibilites that when he submits his PhD this fall he will graduate with a job and therefore ensure the best possible future for his family. This may not be the way that either of us would have chosen but this seems to be the way chosen for us.
On a lighter note let me appologise to all of the lovely folk who sent texts and left voice mails while I was in the hospital who did not hear back from me. My initial text on Sunday morning managed to use up all my credit and it took until late on Monday to get me more by which point I was unsure re. visits as there was the possibility that I would be on my way home on Tuesday which I was! I am more than up for visitors and would be happy to see any of you and share round the baby holding ;-). We are at the flat most of the time though the mid-wife does come at specific times and there are still a few bits and pieces that need to be accomplished re. Maxwell’s citizenship. Also I am supposed to be ‘mobilising’ which sounds like the perfect opportunity to leave the flat and convince my parents to take me for coffee ;-).
Shall sign off as it sounds as though Max could use me. Lots of love and will try and get up some more pics though am not nearly as adept as David!
Maxwell after the Scottish Scientist James Clerk Maxwell
Jaques after Neyir’s mother’s maiden name (yes, that is the right spelling)
Urminsky after the obvious
born 2nd of September at 9lb 1 ounce.
I’ll leave Neyir to fill in the details at a later date.
) but I have a sneaking suspicion we might find one or two times to use your invaluable chauffering skills yet!
